The Frightened and The Fighter

Sitting in the quiet of a cold dark room. A concrete pit of angles and shadows. Grey.

A small window with pebbled glass and iron bars. I sit in the center as I watch the door slam shut....

and the key turns....the door is locked.

Fear is around me....I reflect on my life..was I bad? Was I a bad person? 

I don't think so, so why am I here? Who put me here? Have I...imprisoned myself?

These questions flash through my mind. Could I do this to myself? I battle with me.

Do I really want the answer?I'm Frightened, but I am also a Fighter!

The Frightened little girl in me wants to hide and be ignorant of why we are in this pit.

The Fighter wants to kick and scratch her way out of here. Who will win?

Have I imprisoned myself...cut myself off from everything and everyone? 

Pondering, pondering, pondering....maybe, maybe I have.

The Frightened is small and feels safe in this little grey room with bars.

The Frightened is strong. Strength is in her Fear.....safer to be alone....

No chance of being hurt, but Fighter glimpses sunlight and hope through that tiny pebbled window.

Fighter wants more! Fighter is not sure if she is strong enough to do battle with the Frightened. But 

Fighter wants to see what's outside the window so she strives to take the key that will open the door of the pit,

but Frightened grabs Fighter by the waist and holds fast...it's not safe, not safe!

We'll be hurt, hurt, hurt! But...Fighter struggles with Frightened and somehow the keys to the pit are in her hand. Fighter unlocks the pit door and swings it open....Frightened is cowering in the corner, Fighter goes to the Frightened and pulls her to her feet. Look out the door. There is nothing there to hurt you. The Frightened tentatively takes a step toward the door, but Fear keeps her from going through the door. 

Fighter perseveres. Frightened goes through the door tentatively her eyes rolling this way and that...terrified.

Fighter and the Frightened are free!

One step is all it takes. Sometimes the greatest courage comes from the midst of our fear.

Donna Evans 6-2013